Currently, I'm singing. It's a vain attempt to clear my head and keep from crying. I honestly do not understand people. Why do we do these things to ourselves? A vast majority of human suffering is self-caused. If only we would listen to the inner hermit in all of us and keep to ourselves. Friendships and relationships are our downfall. We've made it so that once we step into that feeling of comfort with a person, there's no turning back. The second you step into the ice water that is human relationships, there is no turning back. Friendships and relationships are, in fact, a lot like an icy pond at the beginning of spring, when it just starts to get warm. You have to muster the strength to get in, and when you do, it's a shock. For a while, things are good, enjoyable even. You float on the surface for a while, tentatively almost, until you muster the energy to dive in. It's an awkward yet comfortable dive. You feel at ease in the darkness. But eventually, you must come up for air. And you crash through the glassy surface of the water. You gasp to fill your lungs with the reality that is necessary for survival.
Survival is now my main priority. I plan on leaving the pond that is dependancy on my friendships and relaionships. Friends are starting to feel like an exhausting waste of time. I have run out of air to stay under, even when it feels like I want to explode, I've told myself that it's best to stay here, with the people who love you.
My best friends barely talk to me anymore. I feel exposed without them.
Cold water robs the body's heat 32 times faster than cold air.
Friends who refuse to speak to you rob you of your sanity 99 times faster than cold water.
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